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Take it all and use it as you see fit, " he said as I started to cry.I snuggled in his arms and felt safe for the first time in a long time. I slowly drifted off to sleep.I awoke the next morning when the sun peeked through my bedroom window. I was chilly, I don't remember how I got there. I looked down and got the shock of my life. I was nearly naked. All I had on was a sports bra and a pair of panties. I could not believe it. John must have carried me up to bed, stripped my clothes off and tucked me in. I could not help but blush when I realized how much of me he had seen. I was a little pissed at him too."What is wrong with him, I've gotta have a talk with him. This is ridiculous. I'm his mother!"At first I was angry but slowly I calmed down. Was I blowing this out of proportion? What had he really done. John had sen me in bra and panties before. I mean I did not parade around in front of him, but if I was changing, or getting ready for work in the morning he might get a glimpse. I could have never predicted how it would hurt me; it was a shocking, almost breathless sensation. Work kept my busy with last minute arrangements and tiny emergencies that had to be sorted out. Still, it was impossible not to think of him when I got into my car each morning, my eyes searching my windshield. It was impossible to not think of him at work, with his art all around me. It was impossible not to think of him when I walked into my apartment, it was so infused with the spicy, woodsy smell of coriander. I had no one to blame for this. I was the one who set the conditions of our strange relationship. I sat in my kitchen, looking at the bouquet that always sat there, now. It would last for maybe two more days and then my table would be bare. Eventually the smell would fade. The sun went down and my kitchen grew dark. I only turned on a light when the flowers got hard to see. The knock on my door made me jump. I even froze for a moment, wondering if I was hearing things. Hope.
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